Gossip
by merryfortune
Summary: They say that the friendship is true when there's a rumour going around that you're gay for each other but is that really the case with Blitzen and Hearthstone?
1. Samirah & Magnus

**Gossip**

 **Samirah and Magnus**

Samirah and Magnus sat on the earthy-coloured suede lounge. Magnus drew silly, flower patterns beside him in the fabric whilst Samirah craned her head. Blitzen and Hearthstone were in their kitchen and making everyone tea and sandwiches with halal ingredients of course.

Their apartment above their, officially Blitzen's boutique, was very nice. It was also very them. It was obvious from the neat, nature inspired décor that matched perfectly that two blissfully domestic flatmates shared the place.

This was the first time Samirah and Magnus had been invited here. It was very hard to get away from the Hotel but since the ordeal wherein they managed to delay Ragnarok, the Valkyries had given them more freedom to visit the realms as they pleased; just so long as they never strayed from the purposed they stated on their "tourist contracts", as Magnus called them.

Since this was their first time here at Blitzen and Hearthstone's apartment, the two were eager to explore. Upon arriving at the flat, Samirah immediately keenly detected something slightly off about the place.

'Magnus,' Samirah hissed and Magnus leaned in a little bit. He wondered why Samirah was so antsy. He knew why he was. Like most people, he was awkward when it came to visiting a friend's place for the first time. Magnus had pinned Samirah as not being that type of person since she was so bold but she seemed to have the first visit jitters worse than him.

'So you notice anything strange about the flat?' Samirah whispered.

Her dark pupils seemed to have made a home in the corners of her eyes as they refused to peel away from the kitchen. 'Honestly? No. My weirdness radar is broken bad. And the worst part is? I can't even blame dying on that. Haven't we talked about this before?' Magnus asked.

Samirah growled with frustration. 'There's only one bedroom.'

'Nah, that can't be right because Hearth's tanning booth isn't permanently set up in the living room. There's probably more to the flat and you are just jumping to conclusions.' Magnus argued fairly.

'I can't believe I'm saying this… But, um, are Blitz and Hearth… a thing?' Samirah whispered and that's when Magnus realised why she was acting so antsy.

The question seemed to put Magnus on shut down. His brows furrowed together and through his shaggy fringe, Samirah could easily visualise a buffer ring tumble around and around. It was like trying to access a YouTube video in a public library.

'Funny story,' Magnus dragged out, 'I don't know.'

'You don't know? How can you not know? For two years and counting, they've been your parental unite. How can you not know?' Samirah asked.

'Well, I'm not going to lie. For the largest time, I thought they were. I only stopped thinking it because I met you, and for lack of a better phrase, came out as dwarf and elf.' Magnus explained and Samirah held her breath. She didn't want to let Magnus know that she found his pun amusing.

'They don't know this but I remember this one time, I got really sick, in the middle of winter. I dunno if it's was pneumonia or my asthma or both but I remember seeing them argue about whether or not they should take me to the hospital. For obvious reasons, they didn't want to go but I super sick. They ended up deciding that I'd sleep between them and we all kinda sandwiched together. Even though I really delirious, I remember Blitz going through like a plan with Heath, y'know, just in case I got worse overnight. They were so down with pretending to be my legal guardians that I just kind of assumed that they themselves as my gay dads already and I don't think I'm completely wrong, "sister" dearest.'

Samirah stopped looking over her shoulder and met Magnus' eyes. 'That's a really sweet story, Magnus. Well, if they really are sharing a room because they are thing, I'm sure they'll tell us when they're ready.' Samirah decided.

'What if they think we already know about them?' Magnus whispered.

'Well, then we're screwed because of miscommunication.' Samirah replied.

'Alright kids, the tea shall be served by momma dearest. No one tell Hearth I just called him that.' Blitz called out. Hearthstone gave him a quizzical look and signed:

 _If you can say it to everyone, you can say it to me_. Or something really similar.

Samirah and Magnus exchanged funny looks that worsened their confusion about Blitzen and Hearthstone's status – and sexuality.


	2. Ygrainne & Lusha

**2 Gossip**

 **Ygrainne & Lusha**

 **[AN: I did, like, no research for this and the names were randomly generated. Lol.]**

Nothing quite says a content afternoon of normalcy in Alfheim like afternoon tea with pixie videos in the background. But being the housewives they are, there is always something to gossip about whilst they sip on ruddy tea.

'I heard the strangest thing from my husband yesterday, Ygrainne.' Lusha gushed to her friend as she set down her fragile tea cup.

'And what is that, dear?' Ygrainne as she toyed with her teabag.

'You won't like it.' Lusha nattered.

'Then what's the point of telling me?' Ygrainne asked.

Her eyes like river stones narrowed on her friend suspiciously. For an Elf, Lusha was quite porky. 'Because it does involve you.' Lusha said as she blew on her tea. Wisps of steam rose up and she focused on them rather than her friend's murderously discerning eyes.

'Gossip? About me? Preposterous.' Ygrainne said.

'Well, it involves you from an indirect manner then.' Lusha said.

Ygrainne rolled her eyes. 'Indirect manner? Your husband would rather sleep than work. Why should I believe something you've heard from him?'

'Well, I've also heard it from other sources...' Lusha continued and she took a sip. Ygrainne looked as though she had a headache. She was beyond such mind games.

'Such as who then, Lusha?' Ygrainne asked.

'Elves such as Siouxie and Malon.' Lusha replied.

Ygrainne huffed. Siouxie was known as a soothsayer for a reason. Ygrainne supposed that she better have at this mysterious piece of gossip. She took a quick sip of her tea through pursed lips. Irritation festered in her grey eyes. 'Well, tell me then.' she said as she set down her fine china.

Lusha smiled apologetically and her eyes went elsewhere. 'Well,' she began with theatrics, 'I heard something strange about The-One-We-Don't-Tall-About.'

'We don't talk about him for a reason, why bring him into this? The abomination...' snarled Ygrainne.

'Well, it's just; apparently he's become something of a success- by association, of course, as if a disabled elf, imperfect as he is, could become a success by himself.' Lusha rambled.

Again, Ygrainne huffed. 'Get to the point already, dearest friend.' Ygrainne growled and Lusha looked like she could jump out of her luminescent, pale skin.

'Yes, of course, Ygrainne. Well, apparently the abomination has made friends with some very well-to-do Einherjar and Valkyrie – the son of Frey and the daughter of Loki respectively. As well as a dwarf, son of Freya, who is apparently running a very fashionable and popular boutique in Midgard? Anyways, apparently they stopped Fenrir from getting loose. It sounds all very farfetched. I personally don't believe it because all the rumours paint the abomination as some kind of hero who was remarked upon by Odin himself.'

Ygrainne followed Lusha's rambles. 'If you don't shorten this story to twenty words or less you can go watch pixie videos with your husband.' Ygrainne threatened.

'Oh, uh, yup – does that count? Okay, twenty words or less: your son – the abomination, not the noble of course – is gay for the dwarf. Well, I think – everyone thinks. No one is actually sure. Oops, I think went over and I still am going...'

The terms "glaring daggers" or "if looks could kill" do not suffice as an apt description for the fury that moulded Ygrainne's face. She couldn't believe it. It was completely and utterly unrealistic. Her "son" – the imperfect abomination – could not have had a helping hand in some kind of battle of the ages for the history books to remember. It was impossible.

Although, Ygrainne supposed, it was very fitting that her imperfect abomination would have imperfect sexuality.

'Please get out of my house. I do not appreciate this gossip.' Ygrainne snapped with fiery eyes.

'Um, yup, same time next week?' Lusha asked as she gathered her things. She was pale and jittery: completely intimidated by her friend.

'I suppose. If you make it up to me.' Ygrainne murmured through pursed lips.

 **[AN: So research points to homophobic beliefs in Norse mythology... If you were expecting related resolution in this fic, yeah, nah...]**


End file.
